Voices with BPD? Anti-psychotic meds? What?
How many BPDer's have voices that are commanding in nature? Who has been diagnosed with Shicoeffective disorder and now has Bi-polar I with psychotic features. I am so lost. Is Schioeffective even in the DSM anymore and what the hell is the difference., I have looked it up and from what I can tell it just has to do with the long (1 month) of psychsos sympthoms durning normal mood. I at times think I have had this(Maybe)But I was having major psythotic stuff going on in June and was near paraniod psychosos. I am gonna freak out on these docs. This doc is also looking at all my other docs reports/notes and said they don't look at the the note just at the chief complante. I am mad as hell and gonna lose my mind. I think it is already gone. This doc says they are my whole doc and that they need to look at the notes of other docs and see what my problems are but that they don't need to look at my notes from other docs or the whole thing, but I am wondering if this doc is looking at all my doc notes, from dietain, sleep, pcp doc and gyn doc? WHy or would this doc need to know anything about me and if so are they looking at these notes and they are not telling. Doc says they only looked at chief complant but never look at the note from the ER. I sure the hell would have looked because I am a curious human being. Am I just that stupid and am being played. Some of my records are confidental from my other providers because of illegal access from another worker who's now fired. I am pretty sure this doc omits shit because they don't want me to go home and off myself and will only give me info if I ask. They tell me that are not lieing to me and is being completely honest and I feel like they are ommiting shit. When I omit shit and they find out I get my ass chewed. when I feel they do it its not a lie. I totally feel nuts with these psych docs. I am only being treated for Bi-polar and when I have psychotic features I get the anti-psychotic med that I hate makes me agaited. Would a person with BPD ever be treated with an anti-psychotic? I was under the empression that there are no meds to treat BPD according to the DSM?? Am I right on that, its DBT and CBT and I have been through all that nothing works for Goofy and i am pissed off........Who in this picture is LYING. I am as sane as I have ever been and shit doesn't make since but also I am more clear now than i have ever been now that I am not on 6 fucking meds and only 1 now and 1 when needed... OMG I have been stuck in the psych system for over 17 yrs.
where did your repsonse, comment go oliva12?
I'm not sure I havnt touched it, I can still see it.
How are you today? Hope your having a better day
Well now, I was doing fine until this doc tells me that if she can’t write notes that she will record our conversations and those are the choices. She said she would do it with my permission. Can she legally do that? I actually think that in my state it is a 1 party who has to consistent to record a convo and I guess she would be the one who consistent to it, shit she doesn’t even need my permission to record it I think. What if that recording got into the wrong hands wouldn’t that be a confidential violation? She said that she don’t have time to read other docs notes. How is she going to listen to an hour long session with me to write session notes when she says that she don’t have time to look at other docs notes? She says she just looks at the chief complaint, I think that is Bullshit. We are fucking curious humans how can you not continue to read the note? I am lost here. I get paranoid because I have my medical records illegally accessed at this hospital and I freak out that she writes and puts stuff in my records. And in return she doesn’t tell me have access to my session notes. I don’t get paranoid when other places take notes. I think that person that was fired because of illegally accessing my record got off easy as hell. Collected a pension and I got psychotic. How’s that work?
Also she was telling me that she has to take her patients records home to do her work, can you legally do that? Remove patients files from the hospital? I know she can see some stuff on her computer from her house but to remove files? OMG? I need to now the law. Also she was looking at my past psych history with my permission and she photo copied some of it from when I was 13 and then put it in a file in her desk, can you do that too? What if any of this stuff is illegal? She is stuck on the idea that I have Bad BPD and that I will not get any better if I do not continue to do really well in her office that would be crying out my pain, beggin for mercy basically, by the way. But she continues to tell me that my psychotic features are from Bi-polar but that my main diagnose is BPD at most times and even when I was in the psych unit this past time she said my main diagnose was BPD but I was admitted to the unit because of psychosis do to mixed mania and it also said in the admit note that I had bi-polar depression. I am still thinking that she has her own attachment problems with her own mother because she never had a relationship with her until she was 18; she was raised by her dad. She also took a year off after she was already a resident but I didn’t ask why, she told me she will probably have children but I never asked if she already had them. Is that not omitting the truth just because I never asked if she had a child already? She continues to tell me that we need to have a trusting relationship and need to be honest with each other, ok so if I ask you the are you going to have children and you already have one wouldn’t you tell me? I am so lost I could scream.
I have people and my now ex therapist telling me, “Goofy do you even need a psych doc?” and I have this doc telling me that I need to be monitored to see when I need meds and at what time? Will I am pretty sure that I need a psych doc but am not sure when I always need meds because I do have voices and they tell me some weird shit. I just want to know if the voices are from mood or personality and I heard her say that voices are mainly from mood disorders. I had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at one time and now its Bi-polar I with psych features. I have another doc that I had when I was in the hospital and he said I have personality with BPD, Anti and some other shit? But I don’t believe him if she is telling me that they mostly come from a mood disorder. I am so sick of going through doctors every 2-3 yrs. having a look at my diagnoses and telling me different things. I have always had Bi-polar up since 2003ish. So all this is messed up. I hate that I have to get my care here now that I am stuck in the damn system for the last 18+ yrs. I guess I need whatever diagnose I have to get SS because I have no skills to support myself at a level that I can even pay rent. OMG I am so mad. Then there’s the part about the release of information to my new therapist after 8 months of not needing one. I will make a post on that soon. Who’s fucking who here? Or am I paranoid as fuck because I have a gut feeling that these two (Now ex therapist and her) were talking when they did have a release of info? Goofy