Well..Here it goes...
So here I am..my first post..ever..
Binge eating is something I really have just within the last week come to terms with, more so in the last two days...I realized as a teen I would come home and secretly binge before my mom got home..I just justified it as not eating enough at school... being bigger I was embarassed to eat in front of my friends..I wasn't as skinny, as pretty, boys didn't like me..You know, the typical overweight teengage girl. My fiance works 3rd shift and I've found myself not eating at all through the day and binge eating to the point of not feeling good after he leaves for work...I'm ashamed...I'm embarassed and I've realized it's a real problem..Heck, I just slammed half a bag of chips and proceeded to eat half a bag of chex mix right after...I do get on these health kicks where I just workout and eat less, but then I get so hungry I say screw it and binge again..I'll lose 20lbs and gain 40 back.. How can I stop? I feel like I have no discipline..I have no health insurance so I can't consult a nutritionist and income is super tight so portion controlled "weight loss programs" aren't an option at the moment..How do I break the cycle...
Thanks Britney that's a really good idea too!
Yeah, we've been together almost 3 years and I just still feel like I'm more in a mother-son relationship than an equal couple. He's never thrown anything at me, but there has been the punching of holes in walls, smashing my mirror, threatening to kill himself, threatening to throw my cat out the window..I've tried kicking him out, but he says until I pay him back for every bill he's ever paid for me he's not leaving or he'll swear he's going to kill himself and take off in his truck. I've tried moving out and he tells me if I leave, he leaves and then we still have to pay for our lease. It's just too much sometimes..I just feel like at 21 we're a couple who need a divorce..been together a long time and just aren't compatible anymore, but it's only been 3 years haha..I'm 21 going on 45 sometimes I swear..
On another note..haha I didn't binge eat yesterday YAY I did over eat, but at least no binge eating :) :)
MotorcrossMiss, you have alot going on with your relationship! I imagine that level of stress contributes to your binging? Please take good care of yourself and be careful. You deserve great things....a healthy relationship with yourself, food, boyfriend, etc.
Aww thanks Melina!
Yeah I'm sure the stress does..I just try to hide the feelings and keep telling myself it will get better...fake it til you make it right? :)
It's hard too though, when my family loves him..my mom told me she'd basically be pissed if I ever broke up with him (because he'd be a dad that would stick around unlike mine)...my sister had a meltdown when he took off in his truck after an argument(she's scared every man will walk out of her life because my dad walked out when she was 2)...my grandpa likes him, my grandma likes him..it's just easier to deal with it and make them happy..
So just like I'm sure you've been seeing in these posts..this is what I contemplate every single day..all day long until I'm so stressed I have to go do something..so I go to the cupboard. errr I really did think about buying a "baby gate" to put across my entry way to my kitchen..kind of as a physical barrier to say umm no..stay out.