Tuesday Check In
Hello everyone! I am checking in today, and thought I would start a fresh discussion and try to refocus. Today was the first day I woke up without a ton of anxiety in I don't know how long. I think it's because I have been reaching out to all of you. Although, I did have all of the horrible thoughts of how big I am, I might as well binge because I'm so fat, I ate a healthy breakfast, and am about to workout for a little while, before I tackle the rest of my day.
Although I don't have any clothes that fit right now, I am determined to go out in public this week, and not wear sweats. I find that behavior of mine particularly depressing. That is a mini goal I am setting or myself. If anyone has any mini goals they'd like to share, please do!
So, this might sound a bit silly, but I I love a quote from the book/movie "The Help" that I say to my daughter because I find the message so important. In the movie, the loving maid says to the child she cares for, "You is smart. You is kind. You is important." I change it to the proper grammer....You are...you get my point. I am working to make sure she has great self-esteem, as I don't. So, I have decided to say this to myself. If I don't matter to me, I won't matter to anyone else.
Melina- Definitely do walks at work during my breaks. Have to force myself to do it because walking is boring to me too. Wish I could talk with a friend or coworkers at work but they don't understand. It's hard to explain that nothing is wrong but everything is wrong. It's like it doesn't make sense to people that both can occur at the same time. It's like I 'm glad that I have a job but I can't stand the job because it's boring and it doesn't fulfill my purpose in life (whatever that is)...Don't know if that makes sense.
That makes perfect sense to me! Perhaps part of the reason for the binge eating is wanting to find your purpose, and being frustrated that you haven't found it yet? So, in the meantime you have an unfulfilling job. When you are ready, perhaps you can do some research and exploration as to what your life's purpose is and that may help ease with the eating. Just a thought. You are definitely not alone in this. I do understand.
Checking in today :) So far so good..had a grilled cheese for lunch and about to make dinner now..Went out and bought some healthy snacks..carrots, fresh green beans and applesauce...going to start my journal today and separate half my dinner in case I get the urge to binge...I think so far it's been pretty good...I feel like I'm in more control thanks to everyone's support and ideas on how to manage! So I thank all of you!!!!