severe emotional abuse out in the boonies
Ok I do not know what to do. My husband and I live out of town in our own house on his parents land and his parents are our neighbors. I have NO family AT ALL here or with in 700 miles.
Having said that I am trapped! He takes my phone so I can not leave, He broke our car so I could not leave, My father in law is an officer for the nearest town, a very small town. He breaks my things, calls me names( cun^, fat bi^c#, fat cow, and more EVERYDAY) tells our children he wishes they were never born and that he hates them ( me as well) they are 1 year, 3 years, and five years old. He refuses to talk to me about anything unless he has a question. Last night he told me to leave but would not give me my phone so that I could. He tried to Drag me out of the house, but I did the dead weight thing and went limp so he punched the door next to my head. He has never hit me, but he has on a daily basis thrown things in my face like blankets pillows. He has on occasion thrown me down and choked me while banging my head in to the floor or base boards. He has broken my bra's. Broken the kids's things, never his own. When I try to clean he blocks me and tells me not to clean his house. Even though I have never cheated on him he accuses me of cheating even though he knows I have not left the house because he wont let me.
He gets mad even when I am nice. I do not walk on egg shells I walk on land mines. He will punch wholes in walls. He completely twists thing and blames me for what he does, it is really weird. An example is he breaks something and five minutes later he will say I did it. Another example is I will ask him for help like putting the youngest in to the high chair, not to feed her just put her in, while I make dinner, get the other two children their plates, his plate, do the dishes, feed the baby and he will say how he hates me and that I am a worthless piece of s#!t and how does he even know these kids are his. He stays up all night playing on his phone, and when I wake him up at 2 in the afternoon for help so I can get school done he goes crazy and screams at the kids even when they do good, so I step in so he will go off on me instead.
His mom says it is my fault just as much as his because I never leave the house. I do not leave because the only place there is to go is to her house and all she does is blame me and tell me that I am a bad mother. She has horses and does not take care of them I do, then when my husband is verbally bashing me, she comes over blames me for some how provoking him ( even if it is saying do not talk to our kids that way, because I know if I do Anything he will choke me, and all around me will say I earned it) I cant let him be like this to our kids, so I get the brunt. Our son is awesome at dealing with his dad!!! He is five and I have always taught him some people are put into our lives to teach us how to be strong and brave when they scare us and he is... He is just like what ever dad is crazy oh well, and will tell his sister to be brave and to accept that dad is just that way. He even at times tell me "mom I have magic powers that calm you down here see" then he hugs me and makes a sound like a buzzing. I never cry in front of my kids or husband. I act like "what ever" when their dad is crappy and tell them that he shows them how NOT to be how not to treat your babies.
I need support because I have know one to talk to that does not turn it on me or tells me how "normal" it is and how great my life is, and that I have no reason to feel bad.
I was/am a single mother. Divorced. It is a major adjustment and a network of supportive people, organizations, is such a huge comfort. I really understand. I really do. I do not mind sharing personal situations through messaging. I chuckled when I read your comment about your toddlers calling everyone mean if not given candy. Absolutely.
I have not checked my inbox yet. Oh the stories I could tell you. Unbelievable really tough lessons. My stubborn self insisted to see my way through things. Ha, proved to be a less than a brilliant idea sometimes.
You are not alone.
I do not know how to message u? I am really bad with tec things, never had them growing up. Never had video games, iPods, mp3, and so on:). On a small phone screen it is difficult :/
Just to let you know, I sent a message.