May 21, 2012 | Subscribe

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I feel so helpless. almost everyday I think about harming myself. i dont want to die because I dont want to hurt anyone that would miss me. But then I think about the whar ifs, what if i would be doing them some kind of favor? What if im just in the way by being here? What if i do it and a few months later i could have been normal again?
what if i'll never be normal again? what if, what if, what if? Nobody knows how i feel but my bf. And he's trying his best to help me, he ask me everyday how im feeling and what my suicide thoughts were for the day, and that helps a little, but what's gonna happen when that stops working? I just wanna be myself again.

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By canadiangirl on Fri, 02-12-10, 13:37

i dont understand. suicide thought bc of depression?

your bf sounds amazing :) dont let that one go :)

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By BBrowneyes on Fri, 02-12-10, 21:09

Hi, that's how i feel right now. Like when, when are things going to get better, I'm tired of waiting. I have been trying to get better with my coping skills for 3 years now, and feel like I'm getting no where. So, I thought I would try support groups, and see if that helps. I have only been on this site for a little bit yet, and so far I like it. I just keep saying, gotta keep going no matter what. And that WE all, do matter!!!

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By canadiangirl on Sat, 02-13-10, 02:05

hey :)
so have you tried medicine and therapy?
and who or what caused these suicidal thoughts?

and you are right we gotta keep going no matter what happens.

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By needingHelp on Sat, 02-13-10, 09:10

No i havent tried medicine or therapy, because i dont want anyone to think im crazy. The main reason i havent told my own mother. And i dont know where these thoughts came from, i just woke up one day and it was in my head, and then the next day and the next and now i cant seem to get them out.

-needingHelp

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By canadiangirl on Sat, 02-13-10, 12:34

i dont think that people will think your crazy if you try medicine or therapy. i am actually going to try medicine for depression. you should try talking to your mom about it if you think she will understand or could understand. i mean mothers only care about their children.

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By needingHelp on Sat, 02-13-10, 20:55

Your right. But part of me thinks she will understand but another part of me believes that she will just brush it off. But I want her to be able to say if this is that serious, we need to get you help. Or talk to me and ask me questions, about how i feel and things like that.

-needingHelp

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By canadiangirl on Sun, 02-14-10, 05:12

yeah i understand what you mean but i dont think she will brush it off if you say that you think about harming yourself. or is there anyone else you can talk to like a friend or another family member?

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By needingHelp on Sun, 02-14-10, 21:06

Well i do talk to my boyfriend about, and thats because he noticed that i wasn't the same. My mother doesnt notice because i keep myself in my room and don't come out unless its absolutely neccessary. But i really do want to tell my mother cause we use to be REAL close, i just don't know yet...

-needingHelp

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By canadiangirl on Sun, 02-21-10, 09:07

im sure shes hurt since you never come out of your room an talk to her. she might just think its a teenage stage or something.

try getting out of your room and see if she notices...if she asks questions then you should definitely tell her something is wrong

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By needingHelp on Sun, 02-21-10, 11:44

She has recently asked me if it was something going on with me that she needed to know about...and that was my time to tell her i just kinda backed out and told her that it was nuthing and that i was fine(at the time i was). but i have decided that i am going to tell her when i feel its right. but i have been coming out of my room a little bit more

-needingHelp

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