May 21, 2012 | Subscribe

Tired of trying

I am so tired of trying to make my life better. I am bibolor I take my meds and see my counsler and I still want to give up. I start to do better with my life and then wham something happens and I'm back where I started or worse.I just had the 2nd anniversary of losing my 2nd child and 2 weeks later I had my birthday which my family forgot again and my fiance of 4yrs told me on my birthday he doesn't want to marry me because I am too crasy. There is alot more that is going on. The only thing that is keeping me alive is my cat. I know it sounds stupid but he is my child and he needs me. If I lose him then I will give up.I just wish I had something other than my cat to keep me going. I am just so tired.

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By bluidkiti on Sun, 05-02-10, 07:32

Hi jeepie, I am sorry for how you are feeling. I just read that you will be celebrating 19 years of being clean and sober on May 4. Do you go to AA and/or NA? If so, have you reached out to others there and let them know how you feel? There is also the suicide hotline http://suicidehotlines.com/ . You can give them a call. I also suggest seeing your doctor - immediately. I have been dealt some hard blows in my life. This last several months it seems to have been one thing after the other. I keep praying and trusting God. I am going to pray for you. Keep sharing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

n/a

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By Korisue on Thu, 05-06-10, 04:06

I agree I always feel like there is a black cloud that follows me or that I'm being punished for something.. I to have lost a child it hurts deeper than anyone could imagine and it sounds to me like you need some time to heal you. have you thought about checking into a mental hospital? Only reason I ask is this Feb I actually had a nervous breakdown and took to many pills and ended up at a mental hospital for 10 days and even tho there were somethings I hated about it I think that I have learned alot too and I actually made 5 of the best friends I have ever had they know exactly what I'm feeling and going threw and I know will never judge me in anyway.. Were always here too.. Try to find some self soothing things and keep it simple .. :)

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