May 21, 2012 | Subscribe

do you try for two?

failed, in hospital over the weekend due to OD. Now im home, no help gained cept cleaned out my system. Im so lost. heeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllppppppp meeeeeeee. My one rock is crumbleing due to my constant onslaught of shit. I cant seem to stop me from hurting me and everyone around me. Im helpless, hopeless, and soon to be homeless. And foremost, cept a GF and her 3 kids, im short my 4 kids and 2 sisters, brother, mother and father... all still living, just not seeming to care, they only fight me. in the hospital bed sunday morning, my mom starts a fight with me, and my brother calls me a no good cheat and theif, and asked why anyone would want to even be related to me? OMG!!! i cant do this anymore.

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By ForeverMia88 on Tue, 07-13-10, 07:33

Though I just threatened suicide myself in my first post I know that it is the easy way out. I've tried before a couple of times and it's gone horribly wrong. Also, children who have a parent that commits suicide are more likely to do it themselves, you don't want to leave that legacy to your children. They love you, perhaps they just don't understand how you feel inside. You have a GF who could maybe help you out a little. I don't have anything to do with my family either, they don't even know I tried to kill myself, or that I've been hospitalized 4 times in the last 2 years. There are 2 paths you can take, you can try to maintain your family relationship and explain to them how you feel and ask them to help you while you get help for yourself or you can consider them toxic and look elsewhere for help. If you lose your home is there a shelter you can go to? Are you affiliated with a church? Church leaders are also trained in counseling, if you can't afford a therapist this would be a good option. Shelters I'm sure would have names of therapists who work with people for free or on a sliding scale. Can you get on Social Security (if you are from the US and have worked for at least 2 years I think you are eligible)? Most importantly you may feel helpless and hopeless, but there is help to be found, you have to have the will to hunt it down and use it. You have to hope or you wouldn't have posted here. Hope is important, I hope you can find help and relief soon. Please don't commit suicide, the world needs you, your children need you and your family would be devastated no matter what the relationship is like.
much care and concern,
Mia

Support Points: 45

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