May 21, 2012 | Subscribe

Sad and betrayed

I dont know where to begin as this has been such an emotional and difficult story for me. My parents have always been there for me, and although they have had many financial issues in the past. They always spent more than they could afford, and therefore have landed themselves into complete and total debt, depending completely on my grandmother to bail them out. I worked my way through high school and college, and finally made it to graduate school, taking out loans as I went. I now have considerable debt, but have somehow kept afloat. I have taken out a few credit cards and though I find I have similar spending patterns as my parents I still have been able to keep my credit good and make payments on time. Recently I got engaged which was very exciting, but realized I could not afford the wedding, and was having difficulty making it paycheck to paycheck. I also needed money for books and school. I decided to take out a loan. I told my parents how difficult it was financially for me and how stressed I was about money, and they encouraged the loan. I applied but was denied. When I asked why I was denied they said I had an outstanding balance on my credit card. I printed out a copy of my credit report, and to my surprise there was a credit card on there I had never seen before. There were multiple purchases from my home town, and the address was under that of my very own parents. There was a maxed out credit card for $3,000 that my parents had taken out under my name and spent money on, there were also multiple very late payments on the account. All these were huge hits to my credit score. I am now drowning in debt, with my own parents to thank for it. I always tell myself how lucky I am to be where I am. But I cant help but ask, why would my parents do this to me if they loved me? If they cared about me why would they be contributing to my financial ruin? I cant turn them in for stealing my identity, yet I cannot afford to pay off their debt. I am so lost and hurt and betrayed. I dont know what to feel anymore. Am I over reacting? My mother is my best friend and I have never felt so hurt before. I dont know how to cope with this or if I can ever talk to them again. When does money become more important than your own daughter?

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By babsbro on Sun, 01-02-11, 18:32

Your mother may have been your best friend in the past. Right now she stabbed you in the back and I don't think she's worthy of a "best friend" status.

I realize that your parents did what they did because they weren't thinking clearly, and were in a state of chaos in their minds. That, however, does not make it right.

If they are charged with identity theft, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR LIFE. It's their fault that this may happen. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

How else are you going to get your credit report fixed unless you tell the reporting agency exactly what's going on?

I went bankrupt 10yrs ago. I've just started now getting my credit back. Honey it's not worth covering your parent's back. They screwed up. Don't let their mistake cost you your credit. Especially when you need that credit report to look as good as possible because you may need your own credit in the future. I hope I haven't come off as an inconsiderate, insensitive bitch, but I'v learned that nobody takes care of me, except me.

You and your parents have all the time in the world to work on your relationship with them. Your credit rating, however, does not have all the time in the world. You need to let your credit reporting agency know exactly what went on so that they can amend your score accordingly, which would be making your credit score better.Once they know that these late payments aren't yours, they'll amend your credit report. Does that make sense? I'm a borderline personlity and I often say things without thinking of the consequences, so, if I've stepped out of line, would you let me know?

I just don't want you to go through the hell that I went through after going through a bankruptcy. I'll never forget a bank teller yelling "I've got a bankruptcy here and need an override on her account......" Stupid bitch, talk about humiliation for me.

You sound like such a sweet person and I don't want to see you get screwed over by the very people that are supposed to take care of you. You've got your whole life to work on your relationship with them. You've got to let your agency know that that card was not yours, please.

Sincerely,
babsbro

Support Points: 260

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By babsbro on Sun, 01-02-11, 18:38

I was just rereading your post. I actually think that once your credit agency knows that that credit card was not yours, that they in all liklihood will forgive the whole debt, whatever it may be.

I've gotten pretty good at this whole credit report thing because of my bankruptcy. I'm 99% sure that they'll forgive the debt that your parents burdened you with.

I've got your back, even if I come of sounding mean.

Sincerely,
babsbro

Support Points: 260

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