May 21, 2012 | Subscribe

please advise me

Hey i dont know were to really start with this im 20 years old and i thought i might have a little insight on what i wanted in life iv spent 2 years in college and tht went upside down due to the ressesion and i couldnt finish it and with no help from the college didnt get the grades i wanted, but anyway to the real problem since i was little i had a girlfreind tht i still think about now and growing up had family problems tht never seemed to stop and weve kept on moving and moving but know im at a stage were im questioning my own sexuality and to be honest my head wont stop spinning, i get headaches head rushes the lot i spent most of my teens smoking alot of weed and decided to give up at 19 this never helped the situation all my freinds were older thn me always by a few years so i kinda got moved off when i hit 18 kept getting into trouble so for the past few months now after i split up with my ex thought i might be gay i started saying to myself id rather be dead thn gay i told a freind wich didnt help the situation and i just cut myself off from every one, i dont go out to socialize and every day is getting worse my gp diognosed me with depression and have started taking flouxitine, wich i am now doughting due to feeling happy at some very extraodinary situations. iv tried speaking to everyone but not getting anysense out of myself i often think do i have to try to be intamate with the oppisite sex to actually find out if i am gay. iv tried watching gay porn but all my life iv thought about women but have i just blocked it out, my freind took me to a gay persons house and as soon as i walked in i felt light headed very nervous and sweating palms and i am now starting to clear my throat alot with the fear of starting to sound gay as soon as somone mentions the word gay i feel very nervous and dont know what to say and i just want some help because im starting to really loose myself and im scared of what might happen i started to wish somone would just end it i feel my health dieing and my body is aswell and im just starting to give up please someone help me i couldnt even keep a job due to paranoia iv searched the web looking for help everything sleeping stress depression you name it please help :(

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By human326 on Wed, 06-23-10, 12:14

I hear you, I keep seeing the word gay all over. it's like damn seriously brain give me a break. It also sucks b/c I keep saying things such as bf instead of gf. The only thing I keep reading that makes sense to me is, do you see yourself growing old with a man or woman? I keep thinking about that a lot and it helps.

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By balletbear on Fri, 06-25-10, 10:16

Sounds to me like you have alot of other issues that are far more important, than whether or not your str8,bi or gay. I hear some of the old male image fears creeping out, just relax and be who you are !! Be good to yourself !!lol

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By manc on Fri, 06-25-10, 11:43

true that human evreywere you go tv soaps i even heard on the radio today about how there making it ok for the same sex to get married, tht is also true ballet to much time on my hands not much to do with it i think, 20 years old and i fell like im 40 all in good time, thanx much appretiated

lucasmaximus

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