Well. . . . . the first step was admitting I have a problem

Everything starts out as just a girl thing or something to do to pass the time or just for fun until you realize it consumes your whole freakin life. I stay online shopping looking for shoes, leave work at lunch-time, after work, weekends, dream about what I will buy next and never ever do I return items. It might not be so bad if I actually felt bad after the purchase but I never do, I love everything I buy never having enough and I think I look good in everything I buy until I see something better. I have enrolled in a community college to fill some of my time already have a Masters Degree, just need to occupy my time. Not in a relationship but I date and of course I have to look good at all times, its driving me crazy!!! I think about nothing else but SHOPPING. Even considered turning back to my past sex addiction to get away from shopping. Obviously there is some underlined issue that I can't seem to face and I hate it! I think i just need to be loved who the hell knows. Started to get married thinking that was the answer NO! not it. Men love me so its easy to catch them but hard as hell to keep them b/c I get bored maybe I have A.D.D and please don't think its a young girls problem, I'm 45 too old for this crap. The problem with that is b/c many black women age well I actually look 30 and take full advantage of it. Is there anyone out there who can relate and understand?