tangible

I remember looking at the grass thinking that it looked mushy. Blurred and weired looking. Like i see it , i knew it was grass, and i knew grass was real, but somthing you could put your hand through. God told me to pay attention really hard. I wasn't using my brain right. He even asked me if it was the tegretol that i was on ,but i could answer yes or no. But at this time i didn't understand what He was talking about i was thinking"Pay attention really hard? I am paying attention."
Eventually i lost controll of emotions, i didn't know i lost sences, it was a gradual thing, i didn't understand.
I tried turning up the radio because of voices ,trying to drown them out, watching t.v. but it didn't help my hallucinations. i lost depth perceptions. God started teaching me. Turn off the radio, that it lulled me to where i wasn't paying attention, turn off the t.v. ...same thing, i couldn't read because it put me in imaginations, i couldn't write bec ause of the same thing. This is what i had to do.
Go to the park or out side in a peacefull enviornment. Use your scences to feel the sun on your face ,the wind on you, listen to the birds or what ever is around you...you can do this with your eyes closed but don't use imaginations to hear all of this and feel these things.God told me that i had all the tools...He wanted me to use them. I think we drowned ourselves with the technology now days.i had to do other things as well on daily basis.
when i walked down the hall i would touch the walls and even tap to try to listen. I would speak with people ,not thinking so much ,just speaking. do outside sports or you could clean house but not a whole lot but listen and see what is going on around you.if you ar sick of cleaning your house ,that is a good thing,go to someones house and clean theirs...lol.
I did ...and that helped me too because it took me out of a routine to where i had to look for things.
that is another thing, time to change your daily repetitions.
If you are loosing reality....hug a tree...know it is a tree,look at the texture of the tree, put your tongue on that tree if you have too then say "it's a tree". know the table in your house by feeling it ...know the color, go underneith it and feel it ...then say "it is a table". Here is a pointer...the things you see, like table ,chairs, fridge, and also can touch it and use it...these are real. People who sleep walking to the point where it is all a dream....it is harder ...they need an extra hand to guide them to the real things to do sences.
i felt like i was just about catatonic or alheimers. I was a hard recovery. I am still working on different things but at least i am not where i was.