jake

You are a greeat mom!!!Maybe i can shed some light. I can relate to your son. dealing with so called "Mental Illness" my hole life, i can tell you he will probly never go to a support group,unless hes forced to,he cant achieve his goals easily because he is actually trying to do too many at once,the drinking makes him feel better because it slows him down on the inside,and the diagnosis itself is very scarry so he is trying to deal with the steriotypical sense of the word. his world sucks. its a great big pitty party for one right now and no one else is invited. have you told him that you think it sucks too? that you are pissed for him? have you told him his old life was bs anyway? and so were his friends? thats how you get invited to the party. hes grieving. thats why he feels his life is over.it is. the life he had untill now which is the only one he knew, so in a sense he died. but...hes still here. that sucks. so now what? he's just gonna drink and smoke and listen to music to drain everything out? Not do anything productive? Pretty much. but we both know that cant go on forever?! It is very important to adress the grieving part. thats something that the shrinks ALWAYS leave out of their treatment. so i know they probly told you that its time to move forward and its important that he "Be Productive" but if you start with baby steps and address the grieving, his recovery and treatment will progress. get invited to the party first but let him know you cant stay till last call, you got stuff to do. gain his trust not as a parent only but as someone who empathizes and is suffering too. oh and the more you critisize the party the worse it will get. so try not to be so hard on him, his best friend just died,think of it like that and proceed with caution,make him think moving on was his idea, that there is plenty of time cause hes just getin started. Pressure is the enemy when dealing with internal suffering,causes unnessary flares of anxiety rolling into episodes escalading into breakdowns and all because ther's one to many beans in the pot. baby steps mom! you are awesome! treat your son, let the doctors treat the illness. tell jake i said Hey.

Hey! it sounds like you have been really supportive so far and really concerned about making him WANT to seek recovery. From experience finding out you have schizophrenia can sometimes feel like a death sentence. A lot of the time when you hear of schizophrenia people think no recovery, dead end. This is completely untrue. There is hope. With the right treatment people can live a full life they can party (in moderation) they can have friends socialize. Its hard to talk to someone that has not had the experience of an episode or schizophrenia. Sometimes talking to someone who understands totally what you've been through and has a base of professional knowledge can be a step in the right direction. Schizophrenia is a lot different from other mental health issues, so if you do get him to a group i would strongly recommend one based around psychosis or schizophrenia. I found when first went to seek counseling it was easier to go on an anonymous site similar to this to build up the confidence to tell my story to someone face to face. The most important step to recovery is insight. Is he suffering from any other symptoms apart from the disorganized thinking? such as hallucinations or delusions? this may complicate this process but not impossible. Although i had many episodes in the past now i'm in total remission and haven't had any symptoms for 10months and am working part time in a pharmacy, volunteering at a schizophrenia clinic and have a healthy social life and doing a degree in psychology. After talking and getting the help i needed my life is so much better! The alcohol drinking is a very typical mechanism for coping with schizophrenia and other mental disorders as it can provide relief from the symptoms initially however in the long run it will add to the symptoms. hope this has helped- and good luck! if you want any info on treatment facilities or medication or any other questions feel free to ask!
Grace

Hi Maggie: Our son was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in Feb. of 2010. I feel where you are at. The smoking and the drinking is self-medicating and it will add to the symptoms in the end. In our situation the hard liquor had to go, and it took a long time for us to get our son off of it. Have you found a psychiatrist that specializes in schizophrenia, and is willing to work w/you and not just a pill pusher? It will take him some time to get use to his illness, and it really sucks that this illness is a mental illness, what a stigma it carries with it. It is an awful lot to deal with.
I guess what I am trying to say is that we are going through the same thing. Try to keep talking to him to have him open up to you, talking does help. And believe it you are a great mom. What we are trying to do, is trying to get our son to volunteer and find a low stress job to help him find some friends, but I will tell you this is not easy, the economy sucks, etc..

Just wanted to let you know, you are not alone, and we are here for you as well, hope this helped.

czzi

I have Schizo-Affective (Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar) and have been successfully medicated and in therapy for 5 or so years now. I'm actually going through my first relapse since then so I'm pretty proud. Being diagnosed for me was basically this: All my life, I believed the world to be cruel. Everyone had they're opinions about me (I could "hear" their thoughts, all negative) and I was very deeply facinated with death in every aspect. My world was all I knew, all I could hold on to. Then one day, I snapped and blurted out something about hallucinations and paranoia to some internet forum and someone told me I could have Schizophrenia. My world started to crumble slowly. It wasn't for another year that I would go to a therapist and discuss it for the first time in detail to anyone aloud. After the diagnosis, my entire world collapced. It's still in pieces actually. Every little thing I knew and believed whole heartedly about my world was false. I had to start living all over again, like I was a newborn child or something. I, much like your son, was not and am not very social. I have not made and kept a new frienship in 6 or 7 years. I view my world collapcing and starting again as learning how to fit into society all over again, except this time I have to talk to people (ugh). As for the alcohol and smoking, I do both. I'm way addicted to smoking and honestly find it helps with the stress. As for the alcohol, yes it does help with the ADD-style thoughts, but only for a while. Afterwards, it just makes everything come out of your mouth.. very embarassing actually. I think that you wanting to know so much, if any at all, about what your son is going through and how to help him is the best thing a parent or anyone in his life right now can do. He will greatly appriciate it later in life. Be gentle when talking to him about it. Don't push too hard or he won't feel safe to tell you. His world just fell into a heap at his feet. When he shows signs of being more open, even slightly more than now, then lightly say something like "I've been apart of this online support group that has helped me a lot, maybe you could get on there and just read what others have to say." There's another good site that I'm apart of, schizophrenia.com. It has a great support group for just about anyone regarding the thing, as I like to call it. Sorry for the length!

What has helped me is not drinking ,smoking, no cafeen, balanced in my health,got interested in somthing,a good friend or friends and family,good inviornments,I don't listening to music or watching T.V...it lululls my mind, I need all my sences to pay attention real hard and Being alone is the worst thing but someone in the next room who I trust helps alot.Ask what they need if they are still opened....If you tell them there are people who understand ..give references.Somtimes they are hopeing for advice with out them saying it...like mind reading. I am not sure what stage they are in but if they are still comunicating ...there is a better chance to get out.Have hope that God will bring them through.