May 21, 2012 | Subscribe

my boyfriend's mother

Ever since I was 12 years old I have compulsively had a boyfriend. I literally haven't been single for more than three days. While I am an attractive girl and have never had a problem finding guys I've always had a problem truly caring about them and keeping them. So, I've had about 12 boyfriends and I've told them I love them, I haven never found true love until recently. I didn't want to date him at first since were literally polar opposites: from different social classes (I'm from the upper class which isn't something that matters to me but I'm just pointing out the difference in class is not a reason for his mother's craziness), different educational levels (me a 4.0 in college him not even having a GED and being older than me (hes getting it next week though!)), we have different styles(me scene kid him thug and ex gang banger), and while he is very family oriented (his mother's name tattooed over his heart) I have no family to speak of. Still, he loved me with all of his heart and treated me like a princess so I gave him a chance and he did not disappoint. He was everything a woman could ask for in a man. Respectful, romantic, loving, and so faithful. Most of all we fit perfectly when we're together it's all smiles and laughter and we can talk about anything and everything. Our whole relationship has remained fresh and its as if were in honeymoon phase forever. He lives with his mother because, like I said before, he is in the process of LEGALLY getting his life together. The issue is his mother is crazy and not only hates every girl he dates but is crazy racist (I'm Persian and Creek Native American but often mistaken for a black girl) so we had to hide our relationship from her which was working until last night. I received a call from my boyfriend saying that we have to take a break since his mom literally attacked him when he got home last night and threatened to put him out on the street and get him fired from his job if she finds out about me and him talking again. I cant handle this I cant be with him for an unknown amount of time. No communications whatsoever. He promised he would come back to me when he gets on his feet but that could take two weeks or a year or two. This is the man I plan to marry, I plan to one day have his children and now I cant even hear from him for some unknown amount of time.

By April on Thu, 07-01-10, 18:39

Sometimes a person needs to resepct others parents/family members regardless of how one is feeling (self absorbed) unless you are married then can someone start to communicate & create boundaries for that particular relationship w/him, in doing this & being supportive of him & what hes dealing with could be a win win situation.

Please keep talking/venting cause we all can learn from this type of situation.

Take care of you.

April

Choose wisely, treat kindly

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By bluidkiti on Thu, 07-01-10, 22:45

Hi herebytaxi, I am sorry you are going through this situation. Have you actually met and/or talked with his mother? How did she find out about you? The things that you know about his mother, how did you find these things out?

Maybe given some time he can talk to his mother and straighten things out. If you are going to have a relationship with him, it would be better if you were on good terms with his parents. Hopefully, things will work out and you can be together again soon. Time will tell.

My mother in law wasn't too happy with me when my husband and I started dating. Mothers can sometimes be this way about their children - sad but true. It can appear they dislike every girl their son brings home. It can be hard for some to cut the apron strings. They are use to being the "girl" in their son's life. The one he comes to when he needs things. They may can be jealous. Maybe overprotective.

Another thing to consider is parents are from a different generation. Brought up in different times. They may not be as "hip" with everything that is going on in the world now as the younger generation.

If he wants to be with you then he will find a way. Keep hanging in there and taking it a day at a time. Keep sharing with us. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

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