this is my story...any words of wisdom?

Well its cool that you are reaching out, but if you really want to get a handle on this you will need to have support around you... Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous are good starts... You have to start facing the truth and comforting exposure like support groups I believe is a really good option. I know how it feels to seek out pleasure in absence of pain... But it doesn't change what's causing the pain instead your pain becomes your best friend, because you give it more attention than you give to anyone else in your life. I don't really know the answer, I just know that you can't hide it forever you have no reason to be ashamed of yourself and you deserve the chance to be truly happy and that means being honest with yourself and others...

The reason people get addicted to pain pills is because they are trying to cover up emotional pain. you need to find a place to talk to. AA meetings would be a good place to start. if you continue down the road you are on you will end up more miserable and lonely feeling. pain pills worsen feelings of depression over time. eventually, if you do not stop, you will find your self taking oxytontin or heroin. the withdraws you are feeling right now will not even compare to the withdraws you will feel if you keep going. I know this is hard- i know those pills fill a void that you feel in your life- but there are ways to fix yourself so you dont have to rely on a feeling that will be gone in 6 hours.

I agree with the others. If you are serious about quitting then seek out AA and/or NA. These are the links for those sites:

http://www.aa.org/
http://www.na.org/

You don't have to do this by yourself. We are here for you as well as the people at the AA/NA meetings. Take it a day at a time. Keep sharing with us. ((((hugs))))

This sounds so familiar, i could believe i wrote it! i am on day 2 of having zero opioids in my system, and it was going ok, but i can't get it out of my mind. i can totally relate to the keeping it a secret part (inspired my username even). unfortunately, since my situtation seems to parallel yours, i'm not sure what advice i can give, i can only be a willing ear (eyes?) and assure you that you are not alone! people say take it one day at a time (which is true i guess) but what if one day feels like an eternity?! like you said, it made the most mundane things enjoyable; we all have to work for a living, most jobs are boring (so i ask myself, what's so wrong with taking something to enjoy every day?) the problem is how i can't sit still without it! and i didn't realize until recently, that is a problem! I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU BUDDY, it seems like it should be so easy. . . but when you're bored its just not. good luck thanks for sharing

You are definitely not alone, my friend but this disease, and it IS a disease is one that thrives on isolation. This forum is a start, but why not start attending meetings. You'll meet lots of sober people who want nothing more than to help you.
It's worked for me and I've been clean and sober over two years.
Keep posting!

The most common reason for addiction, is masking emotions. I know i was/am still struggling with sobriety of oxycontin. Surround yourself with clean people, NA meetings. This may not be the advice that everyone would give, but it worked GREAT for me, and that is, get a bottle of liquid methadone, when the muscle aches/flu like symptoms kick in you take a small cap full of it. do this with caution as it is addictive as well. once the withdrawals are over get rid of it. After the withdrawals, sobriety is just staying away from temptaion. any questions at all? messege me please

but what if your addiction is a secret? what if your surroundings are not the problem (except for the fact that i find my job so boring i perform it 100times better when i am on the drugs)? what if you know you want to be free of it you just don't seem to care enough to go through the frustrating discomfort? for more than like, 30 min. . . i can talk the talk, but walking the walk is a whole other story