I guess I can't be the only one...

Hey.! My name is Stephanie, from Puerto Rico. I've been trying to conceive for over 3 years now, and under treatment 2 years. I'm an endometriosis Stage IV patient since I was 16. Trying to get help, my husband and I consult a fertility doctor. My husband's count is really low and less than 10% motility. Been working with that lately... In my last laparoscopy, days away from starting my fertility Tx for an IUI, I was diagnosed with HGISL, or CIS (Carcinoma in Situ). I was so dissapointed, everything had to be put aside and focus on the lesion. I always had negative pap smears, suddenly 7 months away from my last pap smear, high grade already :(

A month ago had a biopsy from a small lesion that was regrowing, i had to do some routine lab tests before my next appointment to get ready for my IUI, now i have high prolactin.. still waiting.

The worst part for me is watching all the people around me on mother's day. See my husband cry every father's day. See how people even curse because they are pregnant and didn't want to. They go, "oops, pregnant again, what am i going to do?!" and I have spent thousands of dollars trying. Everytime I go to the mall, It's like all pregnant woman pop out from the picture.

I can't control staring at them, even crying. Willing to hold my baby, wake up 38 times at night to breastfeed or hear his/her crying.

I can't describe the pain that I feel...