May 17, 2012 | Subscribe

scared of the possibilities

I dont know what I would do without my fiance. He has had hodgkins lymphoma in the past (when he was 3) and now I have found lumps in his neck and behind his ear and he wont go have them checked out. He comes from the time when this disease was new and he was experimented on alot and now refuses to let doctors touch him.
He is my life and without him I dont know what I would do. I have no idea how to get him to go have this checked out.

By happyman on Tue, 05-11-10, 05:29

Hi,

Tell him that you love him/are scared too & how you feel about this. This effects both of you not just him.

Tell hime to have it chked out for the sake of yr future family inc any kids that you may have.

Good Luck and try not to appear that you are nagging him

Cheers
Ben

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By Ross on Tue, 05-11-10, 12:25

ladygrimm:
A couple well-placed lumps mean little without context. if he refuses to go see a doctor, why don't you as subtle as you can try and determine if he's experiencing any of the most commonly associated symptoms of HL or NHL--

those neck lumps, are they tender or painless?
unexplainable fevers or chills
drenching night sweats
an unexplainable cough, shortness of breath, chest discomfort
itching
tenderness in his bones
abdominal pain

And if he is, use them to convince him that he needs to see a doctor. early detection is not always the best thing for every cancer, but for lymphomas it almost universally is.

As for the lump behind the ear, it's not a lymph node. doesn't mean it couldn't somehow be involved but it doesn't really jive.

good luck,
ross

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