Married to a sexual compulsive man

I am not sure if this is the right way to seek others help. My ten year anniversary is in two months. Its been a roller coaster the whole time. The history may help identify things easier. He has always liked pornography and it never really bothered me. He did not spend tons of money on it or anything, and he didnt need it to be arroused by me. He has always carried on "text" relationships with other women. He would get caught and be sorry. We would argue, but I always stayed. We separated after five years of marriage, only to get back together. The texting continued. Two years ago I caught him making out with some girl in my front yard. Touching under clothes etc. Again, I cried, we fought, I stayed. I always knew more was going on, but didnt want to believe it. I turned my cheek for the sake of our family. On New Years Eve he was with someone else in my home with her husband here, all our kids and friends here. He did not have sex with her, because her husband came in the house, but things happened. I used his phone the next day and saw the chat message. He was not remorseful. He said she tasted good and asked if she would come over if I left. He was with me very soon after he was with her that night. He kissed me not five minutes after it happened. I feel so violated. He is of coarse sorry now, probably sorry that he got caught. He says he has not had sex with any of the other women, but I dont believe him. A couple days after this happened I found out that while we were separated earlier, he was with my bf many times and only ended it when we got back together. He went to counseling last night and wants my support. The counselor said he is compulsive, but I think its just a cop out for being selfish and inconsiderate. He deleted over 130 phone numbers off his cell phone (all women) and wants me to believe that its only the 7 I know about. I feel dirty, he put others in me without my permission. I gave my marriage my all and dont think it is possible to forgive him or ever trust him again. I am a mess. I thought about suicide many times in the last week, wont happen because of my kids, but it seems easier than dealing with this. I mutilated my body so that no man will ever want to be with me again, my way of protecting myself from this ever happening again. I know he wants to work it out but I dont know that I can physically survive going through this again. Is there anyone that has survived this and continued being married? Is it possible to trust or love again? The thought of someone touching me literally makes me vomit. I have lost 15 pound in a week. I dont know how to overcome it. I have been a stay at home mom my whole life. Have no way to support my kids, no education or career. I just need help coping and would like to know if it possible to heal the relationship after all of this. Even my pastor counceled divorce, thats not what I was expecting. Thanks for the help - Hopeless