Husband Hooked on Porn... Won't have sex with me.

I understand how you feel. Several years ago I found a file on our computer filled with porn images. I was doing a search using the term house looking for a picture for our house and that's how I stumbled onto these. I was terribly upset. I have to say it did affect me and not in a positive way. It still affects me today. It really turned me off and hurt me. I had some of the same thoughts as you.

That was when we shared one computer in the house. I am just thankful our kids didn't see them. Now he has his own laptop so who knows what is on there. Like I said, it still affects me today. When I talked to him about it at the time, it was like no big deal to him but it was to me. He doesn't understand it. But for me, it is still a problem in our relationship today. I can still see all those images. How do you compete with it - you know? Like you said - who is he really thinking about? I have to say it killed something in me that I haven't been able to get back.

That is EXACTLY how it is. Something inside me has died. Our marriage isn't that great to begin with and to know that he is 'getting off' on these "videos". Granted, they're only "nuggets", but still... He sent me a link to watch one and I was totally disgusted.

I think porn is a destroyer of marriages, it makes something beautiful into something so ugly, I can't even bear his touch.

He treats me cruelly. I know what I've done.... I've Married My DAD!!! OMG!!!

When I was in my teens in high school, I used to find my Dad's Penthouse under the bed. When confronted, he said little and then started sharing them with me. Like I wanna see naked WOMEN!!! Geez, I'm actually quite surprised I'm not scared for life.

It's just so hard to discuss, but thank you for the reply. I just cry and cry. I know our marriage is over. Both of us are unemployed now. I've had quite a few interviews and phone calls. He's had ONE. I know he isn't trying. I guess when the house goes into foreclosure, he'll figure it out.

I work every single day to find a job. There's always an excuse for him NOT to do the same. It makes me furious and who wants to sleep with a lazy porn watching freak.

As soon as I can get my feet under me again, I'm leaving ... for good this time. And I'm not looking back. If one of the kids wants to come with, great, but my suspicion is that our son (who is the only one at home) will stay with his dad. I'm just SO done. Thanks for letting me vent. He doesn't know about this site and I clear out my favorites after I've been here. He hacks into my computer to see what I've been saying about him....Paranoid???? Could be.

Have a great day. Look forward to hearing from you again..

Sounds like you're figuring things out. Am sure my husband of 19yrs is still doing that in one form or another & I decided years ago to love myself more than I hated him as I walked thru my own wreckage (our history & past) so now I dont give a rats you know what anymore & I will be aware of what or whom I meet in life or maybe just be w/myself, have been taking baby steps in that area. I use to have such self confidence/motivation etc.. now am emotionally exhausted but regain daily cuz I WILL NOT LET PEOPLE take me DOWN anymore in any form... Keep on goin, I admire you.

April

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Since he is openly watching porn, the only thing left is to make him choose between the porn or you. If he won't stop watching the porn to save your relationship, then you know where you stand in his eyes, no matter what tired excuses he gives.

I say give him an ultimatum, then get out as soon as financially possible. You deserve better.

hey, hold your head and heart up beautiful. As a man, I watch porn but I rather sleep with my woman. The arguments however turn me off and just like women, when the fights gets rough the sensuality gets turned down low to off. best thing I can tell you is try just asking him if you can sit beside him and just hold him tight. dont say anything just hold him for long periods of time till he calms down. Us men are like children sometimes and as much attention we cry for, we go about it the wrong way. Try that, most men cant do the holding thing without thinking about sex. take that out the equation and just trying finding him emotionally. men can smell fake a mile away so dont argue, put your differences aside if you wanna make it work then hope for the best! talk about things he likes and try to find confidence in him. sex can take that away from a man especially when the relationship isnt so great! let me know if this helps

o yeah, one more thing. if you want it... go take it! we love that!!! just do it!!!