May 17, 2012 | Subscribe

A mothers broken heart

I've been facing a horrible time with my 18yr old daughter.I know some of you may know about it from other posts.I won't go in detail all over again.I will just say she has turned her back on me,sent me to jail,called dhs on me,and is now trying to have me committed to a mental hospital just because I have bipolar.The only thing I'm guilty of is trying to save my 11mth old grandson from her making bad choices.I do have bipolar but see a doc regular and take my meds.I can't tell you the pain I feel it's horrific.I love my daughter and am grieved very much.I have tried to resume life as much as I can to be happy.I was doing ok until I got the news yesterday court is tomorrow the 10th.My biggest fear is seeing my child and grandchild not being able to love them.I don't really care if court finds me guilty or not.I know I'm not that's what counts.I haven't cried over all this til yesterday.I finally broke down it's almost constant now.The stress is just unbearable.I know I raised her thats all I can do.I still hurt as a mother especially as I see photos of her at my parents,see her out in town,or friends ask how she is.I also hurt knowing next month is my gransons first birthday which I won't be allowed to attend.I have hardly any support being as her dad an me are divorced.My husband now has never even had a child and we have major communication issues.My family has left me to cope alone as well.I have always been left to deal along because I was the oldest of 8 children was expected not to need my mom.My two other daughters are going to court with me but my daughter has a crew coming to lie for her.I really am not to concerned.I will only have to pay a fine if they succeed.It just hurts I have know support.I can't really put my burdens down on my other two children they are hurting already.My husbands not there nor the kids dad.I just don't know what is going to happen.A part of me is so angry my own child would humiliate me,hurt me,and keep my granchild from having his granmother.I have such mixed feelings I so desperately need to get out.I need a whole new outlook and moral support from someone who understands.I look forward to hearing from anyone who can give some encouragement.

By Sing-For-Change.YI on Wed, 06-09-10, 13:35

Dearest child,
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are my works, and i created you in my image. I love you just the way you are, because i made you this way. I beautiful masterpiece. My greatest work. I formed you in your mothers womb, i know everything about you. Every thought, every memory, every hope and dream, every pain and fustration. I know it, and i hear your voice calling out for help. I will give you help, i will comfort you. You are so precious to me, i care so much about you. I will never put you through something you can't overcome. Will you let me help you overcome your hardships and struggles? Everything turns into good for those you love him. Will you love me so i can make every pain you had turn into joy. Let me give you my gifts from heaven. I want you, i love you so much. Please this is me reaching out to you, please accept me. I want to spend eternity with you. I love you, and i will help you get through anything. I am always here for you.

-Your Loving Father, God

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By kisorheather on Fri, 06-11-10, 08:35

I got such great comfort from your words.I'm a child of god I guess sometimes my faith wears low.You helped me to find reaffermation in his gentle words.thank you

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By bluidkiti on Thu, 06-10-10, 06:18

Hi kisorheather, As a mom of 3 daughters myself, my heart goes out to you. We raise our kids the best we can. We love them. Then they grow up and we have to let them go. We let them go in hopes they will return to us but they may not. I know it hurts. I am going to be praying for you. Let us know please how everything turns out. Please know you can talk to me anytime. I have sent you a private message on the site here with my phone number. I am here for you. ((((hugs))))

n/a
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By kisorheather on Fri, 06-11-10, 08:37

Thanks again so much! I also got your private message I really appreciate it alot.

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By Claypaulswife on Mon, 10-18-10, 08:36

I am so sorry for your pain. Its weird, but our stories are a little alike in that I have a 18 year old daughter who suffers from bipolar disorder. Our relationship has always been close until her Junior year of high school, then she flipped out and busted my face open with a digital recording device she decided to chuck at my face. I had her arrested, for her own safety and sent into treatment, but now that she is off in college, she refuses to take her medication, so now I am worried sick because last night she attempted suicide.

I don't have bipolar, but I do have issues with depression as well as post traumatic stress, so I now a bit about both sides of the coin so to speak. I think the hardest "issue" is not of the mental illness, but just her being 18 and her personality changing so much. Being told to die and that she hates me takes its toil on me. Kids in general at that age are pains, but darn if anyone gives you a pamphlet on how to handle teens nowadays.. Time out my behind! LOL

Just try to take one issue at a time, and DEFINATELY stay on your meds! You have to remain healthy in order to properly deal with this. You are doing a great thing by joining a support group, but you may also want to see a councilor when your able. Your in my prayers and I hope we both get some solutions to our kids' problems soon.

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By maniclove on Mon, 10-18-10, 09:37

My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers!!! Manic

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By hildazhih on Tue, 05-24-11, 07:20

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By Aila5 on Tue, 05-24-11, 07:42

i'm so sorry for your troubles. as i was reading i thought, "we dont always know how things will turn out", i dont know why that popped into my head. your daughter might be being influenced by outside forces, you mentioned a "new crew". there is alot of pain it seems. but it is also clear you love your daughter, your grandchild and your family and i believe love is the strongest of all the forces here. sometimes other things seem to "win out" in the short term, but eventually the love you have and share comes out on top. i guess this is something i believe. sending you hugs and prayers

I long to be brave, and do what is required of me with grace and strength. I long to find happiness and the company of people who like and accept me as I am.

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