May 17, 2012 | Subscribe

Day 2

I reach another low point in my life on April 27th 2010. I sat in my big rig in Mesquite, NV. begging for God to help me. I had lost again and been lying to the wife and hiding my disease for a few years. I CAN"T STOP.Everytime I drive through Vegas it's like I must get off the freeway ,"to take a break".... who'm I kidding.
I finally called the Vegas GA hotline to ask for help. I reached a very comforting woman named Nida. She was a great ear for me and she shared her strenth and hope in return.She called to see how I was yesterday and that helps me feel like somebody else cares about my problem. Thank you Nida.
I sit here in Modesto, CA. now on a Thursday afternoon, with no meetings again available again where am, and I found this site. Figured I'd give it a try and share my thoughts. Still full of remorse and feeling pretty low. No sponser yet but I want to continue my desire to stop this nonsense. I think I will call Nida in a bit.

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By sam59 on Fri, 05-28-10, 11:58

Dear steelertime, I know what you mean, I do. I can't stop either. Even though I know it is going to destroy my life I can't stop. Each week I make my self a promise not to gamble and each week I tell my self just 20-40 bucks I can handle. Then when I go in I end up spending a lot more than I should. Even if I win and I am a head I tell myself keep going you will win the big one. I am so ashamed of my addition that I can't even tell my husband. He knows I gamble and hates it but if he knew how much I spend he would blow a vein. I have prayed too that God will give me the will and the power over my self to stop. I use to drive too and when we stopped a lot of place I would put money in and hope that I would win. Every stop was just a little bit. Now that I am home all the time I go out at lunch and after work. I need to stop or I will end up with nothing. Just know you are not alone. Even though I don't know you and you don't know me I do care. I think when they opened up video lottery it was the end of a lot of peoples lives. The question is how do you find help to stop? How do I explain to my husband that I have to go to these meetings at 8:00 at night? I can't be honest with him or he would hate me. We both work hard but he hates gambling. I do too. I hate that it has taken control of my life. I wish you the best man. If you ever want to email me feel free. I don't have the answers but I am willing to talk to you or anyone. Maybe together we can find a way to stop the madness that has taken control of our minds.

Some day we will all be free

Support Points: 115

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By Justtired on Tue, 08-31-10, 18:00

Steelertime and Sam 59: Oh ye of little faith. It sounds to me like you both need to confess your sins and repent with the quickness. Surely you two are not that WEAK MINDED! Both of you need to think positive thoughts and start doing things that YOU CAN have control over. By continuing to convince yourselves negatively by saying that you can't stop knowing deep within your hearts that you really can if you just do the right thing. Represent! God loves you both and only want the best out of life for you. Share the good and positive things in your lives and read some of the other support groups posted and share your knowledge with them to help them. That's what God wants us all to do. Bless others! Share the LOVE, JOY & HAPPINESS that follows living a "Christ like life".
Mary Joe

Support Points: 1035

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