May 17, 2012 | Subscribe

Husband drug of choice is crack

My husband was clean and life seemed to be back on track until last month. He is back on the crack and its killing me. We have been married 13 years I love him dearly but I know I cant keep being the fixer for his drug problem. Thats why Im here. He uses of all places at his job. I carry the stress all day wondering if he will come home clean or not. Tonight was bad< gets off work at 6 30 but didnt get home until 10 00 saying how sorry and unfair he is to me but he will still use

By acheli on Thu, 03-11-10, 09:28

Hi Peaches, Welcome to the support website. I am on here for pill addiction. I have been clean for over a month now. My sister was addicted to crack, and I saw what that drug did to her. Your husband is going to want to really quit and do it for himself. Unfortunately, sometimes the wifes and kids are not enough. I am sorry that you are having to go through this and have to worry about your husband and where he is at. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you. BIG HUGS TO YOU!!

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By leembley on Sun, 03-14-10, 10:09

Hi peaches. There is a lot of information and opinion out there about how best to deal with an addict and what YOU are going through. I for one don't trust myself to point you in a specific course of action. I have been the addict AND the one suffering at the habits of an addict.
My opinion is that you should call someone in Naranon in your area. That is the support group for families and friends of addicts. I feel they would be the best and most experienced with your problem.

They may not have the answers or have answers you are not prepared to put in to action yet but they can give you support...someone to talk to...people who truly understand all about what you are living with. You can usually find info for contacts/meetings for your area on line or find a National number to call & they can direct you. In my local newspapers there is a weekly calendar for support groups. Try that. I'll post some online sites today for you. Hang in there. Take care of yourself and remember that YOU deserve to be happy and not have your joy and peace stolen from you. You have the right to make choice too...that doesn't mean it will be easy.

One final note...
I had everyone telling me to leave my husband all the time if he kept using drugs and that 'he wasn't worth it' and "I could do better"...THAT KIND OF ADVICE WAS UNACCEPTABLE TO ME! I took vows when I married him that I MEANT! Keep looking until you find a solution that fits your belief about you and your huisband. Now this is NOT a popular belief...but I held out and my husband have BOTH quit and are together and happier that ever!!
My heart is with you.

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By Sobermama on Fri, 12-17-10, 18:52

Thank you so much for this comment. It really helped me when my husband stood by me the time some of his family members felt he should divorce me. It was not an option for him or me Praise God! I love him more than ever and have been clean for 3 years from crack - so there is hope.

Peaches, I don't pretend to understand what it's like to be on the other side of it, because my husband has never been a crack addict in our marriage (his days with that drug were when he was much younger and long before me). I do know that it's important to go to meetings as suggested by "leembley". It will help you learn how to be ok, no matter if the addict is in active addiction or recovery.

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By leembley on Sun, 03-14-10, 10:10

http://www.nar-anon.org/Nar-Anon/Nar-Anon_Home.html

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By Peaches on Sun, 03-14-10, 16:11

Thank you so much for your support. I called and they do have meetings first and last Tues of every month. I have spoken to my husband and told him I will be going . I need the support badly. I have been keeping his crack use to myself and just cant do it anymore. I love him dearly but to be honset with myself I really dont know how I am going to handle him if he keeps using. I just know something gonna have to change.I pray I can stay strong . Thanks again!

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By bluidkiti on Tue, 03-16-10, 05:51

Hi Peaches, Sorry you are going through what you are but glad to see and hear you are reaching out for help for yourself. I know it is rough to stand and watch a loved one active in their addiction. Keep sharing with us. We are here for you. I will say aprayer for you both. ((((hugs))))

n/a
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By dumbfounded on Wed, 12-29-10, 20:30

Thanks, leembly, I found a NA-Anon support where I live thanks to your post. I'd go this Friday, but it being New Year's eve and all.....don't know if they are having it. There was no phone number. And I really don't want to be out on the road at night on New Year's eve. I am so super excited to actually think I will get to talk face to face with people who have the same problem. Wow! I so needed this. Thank you so much! I'll keep you posted. My fiance is addicted to meth and I'm having a very difficult time dealing with it. He says he will stop. But he hasn't. He is getting worse. Needless to say....I'm at a loss....confused...hurt...angry...feel betrayed....I could keep going.

;D

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