Will I ever be happy again???

Hey, my names Eloise and i've been bulimic for just over 2 years now. I can remember feeling fat even when I was at primary school and i would compare my body to everyone around me. I've always been preoccupied with appearances and this only got worse over the years be4 it pushed me in2 anorexia and then bulimia.

I have always been compared to my older sister and everyone always thought she was the smart, prettier and skinnier sister - which has not helped. I began to consciously monitor everything i put in my mouth and slowly began to eat less and restrict certain foods.

I was then involved in my schools stage challenge which was ironically about eating disorders. I was told my legs were too fat and so i couldn't portray the model group, instead i was put into the curvy group which sadly was the start of my battle with bulimia. My family discovered this a few months ago but its been really hard on all of us. We all avoid talking about it otherwise everyone ends up in tears because everyone has an opinion about it, but no one truly understands how i feel and how hard it is to live with/give up.

If anyone out there wants to talk or email me that wud b much appreciated :) my email is ellavandevyver@gmail.com