May 16, 2012 | Subscribe

its my first time!

Hi to anyone who is there, i joined this group a few months ago now, i have been looking at what others have wrote and have seen simalarities to my life..I am only now building up to writing something of my own. I dont really know where to begin, but i do know that i can't do this by myself anymore. i see that people get great support form this site and it seems to be a place where people can let go!
So i have been bulimic for 8yrs, ive had many ups and downs with it, but lately its all down. I feel im on a very slippery slope and i dont know how to stop sliping. My ED has taken over all of my life. i have lost all my friends, i have no life and all my head thinks about is not eating and getting thin..
I took an overdose a few weeks agoa and was in hospital for awhile and now i have started therapy. I really want it to work and i want to be normal and think normal but i just have no idea how to do it.. which leaves me thinking im going to "be,think and feel" like this forever, leading on to whats the point! why not just end your misery now.. I can't believe that i feel this way and never thouught i would ever reach the point of wanting to end my life but everything has got to much of me. There is a grip so tight inside of me i just dont know how to let it go.
I know how to put on the act around my family that everything is ok.. but i know that im not.. I feel so lost..

Login or register to post comments
0 Support

By moongal on Tue, 05-25-10, 13:37

Hey JJ291,
I am so sorry to hear that you feel that but I am also glad to hear that you are getting help. I know having an ED is very distressing, and can consume your life. I have had a very unhealthy relationship with food for years now and I did come to a point where I use to self harm and wanted to end it all. I completely isolated myself from my friends and family and did whatever i could to avoid social situations. However, with the support of a friend, even though I had been a neglectful friend to them (letting my ED takeover and pushing them away) I pulled through the worst of it.

I know you may have questions like what is the point, when I am going to feel like this? But I can put my hand on my heart and tell you, you won't feel like this forever. You've come to a fantastic turning point and even just posting your story up shows how much you want to get healed.

And you very much do have a life and so much to live for. If you wish to chat about anything you can email me anytime on sillysnoozer@hotmail.com. I know you are feeling very lost right now, but it does get better.

Big Hugs

Moongal x

Support Points: 18500

Badges

Offline

By JJ291 on Tue, 05-25-10, 14:53

Hi moongal, thankyou for your kind words...
Im so glad to here that you have pulled through your worst, you have given me some hope that i can pull through too.. I have self harmed also, and i am struggling with that at the moment too.. I know this is not were i want to be and i hope that you are right that this is a turning point for me.. because i can't do this for much longer..I have isolated away from everyone now and find socialising very difficult.. Do you still stuggle with food? Have therapy?? You seem on the right track now which is great... Thankyou for sharing your email address with me and the offer is also returned.. If ever you need to chat my email is : dancer291@hotmail.co.uk

much love JJ x

Support Points: 55

Badges

Offline

The information provided on SupportGroups.com is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient/site visitor and his/her health professional. This information and interaction provided on this site is solely for informational and educational purposes and does not constitute the practice of medicine. Information on this site does not replace the advice of your physician or other health care provider. Neither the owners or employees of SupportGroups.com nor the author(s) of site content take responsibility for any possible consequences from any treatment, procedure, exercise, dietary modification, application of medication or any other action which results from reading this site. Always speak with your primary health care provider before engaging in any form of self treatment. Please see our Legal Statement for further information.