I just cant help it...

I started my diet plans two years ago it was a slowly but surely way of dieting. I dint want to go on a crash diet although at one point during that time I took some diet pills.It was not easy, my weight goes up and down everytime, ill gain weight then I lose weight then gain again and lose again. It was only early last year when people really starts to notice the big difference, finally! I was so happy to look myself again at the mirror, I can wear now all the clothes that I like and not the oversize or free size shirt. I got my self-esteem back. This didnt last long. My partner starts to notice that Im binge-eating again, well I just cant help it again.. im under a lot of stress lately. I know that everytime im stress or depressed i tend to do this. I just cant help it, its like Im always craving for some carbohydrates and chocolates..yeah chocolates just thinking about it i want to have one now! sometimes even late at night or ill woke up at the middle of night and will start looking for something to eat. Even at work,my co-workers would often tell me, why are you always eating are you not full, youve just eaten your..blah bllah, blah.......I hate it when they tell me that. Then I'll start eating more. Damn. And now i hate my body I've gain more weight than the last time I started my diet plan again. I dont wanna be like my Mom (when she was still alive) she she used to be like this..eat a lot when she has nothing to do, when shes mad with Dad, when shes sad or feel alone, she just wont stop eating that later put her health in danger. I promised myself that I wont be doing that but im wrong, i dont wanna do it but I just cant help it...and now im eating again..