23-year-old binge eater

Gosh I hate this problem I have. I'm always lonely, all the time and when its bad I eat (I used to take pills or drink). Since I moved 3 years ago I've gone through so many problems addiction, excersize bulimia, Bulimia, Abusing amphetamines, etc. Now I binge and binge and all I think of is food.

I clench my jaw and tighten my fists when I have these cravings. I haven't had my 'run of the mill' 10,000 calorie binges for a few weeks now but I've had little ones if there is such a thing? eating two massive bowls of cereal and 2 "zone bars" before bed (in bed) every second day or so. Today started bad because I slept in and missed my daily 500 calorie morning treadmill run.. non of my friends understand me. My family laughed at me when I told them and opened up that I was getting therapy for this and to make matters worse I spend a fortune on supplements and diet foods and am huge debt cause of it (protein shakes, diet pills, vitamins, etc).

I don't drive so when I have these thoughts of binging I cant really get into a car and see a friend and I don't really have many friends anymore because I practically live in the gym on the treadmill. It's so frustrating because for my job, I need to maintain my weight (6 foot 2 and 168 lbs)..and when I get lonely I just eat and eat and eat..I've been fighting it all day today..all day! I used to have a great handle on food-now not so much maybe due to the fact that I had a life threatening problem that landed me in the hospital last year and bed restricted for 1 month..I didnt see myself here at 23 and I'm dying to just go to the grocery store and spending $100.00 on my favorite binge foods and then passing out after a hour long feeding frenzie.

Most days I can stay on my 1400 calorie diet and 4 hour workouts but today (days like this) i just feel like Im in a utter hell and tug of war in my head!!! :(