May 16, 2012 | Subscribe

I feel like I'm living in a shell

Hi everyone, my name is Jake.

I'm 19 years old and I'm a very nervous person. I struggle to talk to people I don't know. When I'm in a conversation with someone, I always assume they're thinking about what a nervous idiot I am. I can't just hang out with someone without feeling uncomfortable and thinking how boring I must seem. I often sweat when I'm talking to someone, especially a girl.

So I often compensate by being quiet and not talking to anybody. When I'm talking, I feel like I'm looking stupid anyways, so I might as well just not say anything. When I am talking to somebody, I just try to be as nice as possible in hopes that they'll like me. I've joined a lot of charity organizations and given a lot of money away to homeless people. I never break plans, even if the person breaks plans with me all the time. If I had a dollar for every person that told me I had good karma coming my way, I would be rich. I've since learned that "being nice" doesn't get you very far, especially if you don't have the courage to reach out to other people.

I actually have a few good friends, but I even still feel nervous around them. I begin to tell myself I'm too uninteresting to amuse them, and that makes me even more uncomfortable. When I go to parties or clubs I generally just sit off by myself, and if I try to interact with others I end up looking ridiculous.

And, as you might be able to guess, I'm not to good with the opposite sex. I've never kissed a girl because I'm too nervous to talk to them. I hate it. Girls just don't want to be around me, because I'm so high-strung and boring.

I crave attention. If I feel like I'm being ignored and people aren't paying attention to me, I get passive-aggressive and try to get sympathy.

I want to get passed this. I want to no longer live in a state of fear and anxiety. I want to go to parties and have a good time. To have a deep connection with people. To not feel like a nervous wreck every time I'm with someone.

I just want to feel comfortable.

If only I knew how.

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0 Support

By beckyblue on Sun, 06-06-10, 10:20

I know how you feel about being uninteresting. I have friends who when I talk to them I feel like I have nothing cool or fun or exciting to say, like I'm boring them. Someone once told me I was holding up the wall, because I was just leaning against the wall and not talking to anyone and that has always stuck with me. I always feel like I'm holding up the wall.

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By April on Fri, 06-25-10, 19:27

At least your talking about it & quite well I might add, you are very well spoken (both of you guys)so try & not read so much into what others are or arent thinking cause in the long haul of life it really doesnt matter what others think only what you guys think of yourselves, so keep talking it out, you have so much to offer all out there in life.

April

Choose wisely, treat kindly

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By SgtsWife on Tue, 03-08-11, 00:25

God, it sounds almost just like me lol
I do have close friends I can talk to without feeling nervous or uncomfortable, so its only with people I don't really know. I'm always quiet, but talking to the opposite sex, as in relationship wise (or wanting one) hasn't been a big problem, since I am married.

I too want to feel normal in life, with people, with myself. Be comfortable.

**Your happiness in life depends on you**

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By DKJAPANESE on Tue, 03-08-11, 12:01

dude i feel the same way :(

{][)K}SSJ3GOKU

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