May 16, 2012 | Subscribe

18th Month In Recovery

Today makes the 18th month of my recovery. I'm saddened by the fact that I'm still as sick as I am. In some ways I'm feel so overweight and lazy. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I accept ME for ME? I want to be more. I want to be a culinary student...but right now, going the way I'm going that's not going to happen.

I'm scared. Scared of gaining weight, scared of losing myself to this disease, scared that I'm letting down my family. I need help but it seems like everywhere I turn I don't get anywhere. Therapy is way out of the question. I've tried more than 10 therapists and none of them want to help me.

That's why I've come here. I need to let out my feelings and communicate with people who share the same fears and issues. I need help despertly and I want to make some new friends with the same disorder. It would greatly help me out if someone could reach out to me and give me some help here.

Thank you to all who is already reading this, that in itself is already helping. I want to get better, I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm not a slave to my ED.

Much love,
Cat.

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By superchunk on Thu, 03-25-10, 09:02

Hi,
I just wanted to say god for you you want to get better and you r reaching out great job. I am bulemic so i can relate on somethings but not all.

Here is what helped me someone was looking for an email pal you know to give daily up dates to set goals and keep your self accountable. That really helped. post a support topic see if someone wants to b your support emailer. Hang in there it does get better:)

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By janurse on Thu, 03-25-10, 10:37

MissCat...Please don't give up. You CAN recover! Have the therapists you have seen been trained to treat people with eating disorders? Why would they refuse to treat you?
Have they suggested a higher level of care, and you don't feel it's needed or you can do that? Please share more about your problems getting help.
I am glad you are sharing here. Please keep writing and ask for what you need!!
HUGS...Jan

n/a

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By MissCat on Sat, 03-27-10, 01:36

Thank you Superchunk and Janurse. I really know that coming to this site was a good thing for me. I've already heard some encourging words that have inspired me. I don't plan to give up too easily and I'm more than willing to help others in my situation.

Thank you both.
Much love,
Cat.

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