one year anniversary of my dad's death coming up
I was 21, he was 55. Me, always the typical "Daddy's Girl" was in the shower one Friday morning last October 24th, 2008 and heard my mom screaming "He's dead!", I ran out of the shower, somehow pulled some clothes on and ran to the barn to find my dad, my hero, lying on his back, dead. It was a heart attack, and he had no symptoms. My mom and I, both being nurses, tried to revive him but it was no use. He was gone. I had the unfortunate task of calling all of my older siblings, aged 32, 31, 26, and 24. Now, almost a year later I am finding it hard to cope. The memories of that day keep flooding my thoughts, I've almost completely lost my faith and I am very irritable. My boyfriend tries to help, but he doesn't understand. I went to counselling, but the guy was more interested in just telling me how good of a peson I am to actually help. I can't help but start to bawl my eyes out when I go to a wedding and see the bride and her father walking down the aisle. That will never be me. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm still overcome with grief. Any suggestions?