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"Be the change you wish to be in the world" -Ghandi

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Tips For The Holiday Season

For anyone who is dealing with an eating disorder, or who is still in recovery from one, the Holidays can be a very difficult time. Holiday time may mean spending time with family members that you may not see frequently, plus the focus on an endless variety of foods and eating traditions.

Ask yourself, what kind of Holiday do you want to have? What would you like to be different this year from in the past? Who are the people in your family or gathering who will leave you with positive and energetic feelings? Focus on how YOU can positively affect your Holiday experience!!
Here are a few basic suggestions to keep in mind during the Holidays:

**Consider times and places that may cause you increased stress. Remember you can make choices about where you will go ahead of time. Stick with your plans.

**Decide on a friend or family member who can be available to you if you are feeling stressed. It's important to have a plan so that you can prevent self-destructive behaviors.

**Be sure to get enough sleep. The Holidays bring extra activities and much hustle and bustle, and if you deprive your mind and body of adequate sleep it can create an unhealthy balance and leave you less prepared to handle the added stress.

**Plan to eat three meals a day to help prevent the urge to binge or added focus on food. Stick to your 'recovery' routine as usual.

**Plan time for self-care. You need time every day, even if only 15 minutes, to regenerate and relax, and refocus on recovery. This could be seeing a movie, calling a friend, meditating, or something that you know works for you.

**Make sure that there is food available that you feel comfortable eating. The best way to do this is to offer to bring a dish that you know you are comfortable eating. The goal is to decrese your anxiety around food as much as possible.

**Allow yourself some 'treats'. Deprivation is not self-care and is more likely to lead to resentment, binges or further restriction. Being judgmental of yourself for allowing yourself to eat some 'different' foods is only detrimental to your feelings about yourself and your recovery.

**Think about any boundaries that you may need to set with others...including food boundaries. If someone makes a comment about your weight or what you are eating, you can kindly reply with thanks for their concern, and assurance to them that you are taking care of yourself. If someone persists, you have every right to remove yourself from the situation or ignore them.

**Use positive self-talk. Remind yourself that you are in control of your choices, that you have the right to say 'no', that you are honoring your recovery by making a certain choice, and that you do NOT have to be perfect!!
Follow up each day with a gratitude list for the things you are grateful for, including YOU!!

**Enjoy yourself! Step back and look at the bigger picture. Take time to enjoy your family and the essence of the Holiday season. Try to create memories and special moments instead of wishing things were different.

I'm sure everyone has their own methods of dealing with stressful Holiday moments. Feel free to share!!

http://freefromexpectations.blogspot.com/

HATES body fluctuations!!!
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Jan
Thanks for this..I actually have a reunion saturday and even though Im eager to see some people I am haveing anxiety about seeing certain people as well .I find when family gatherings come up I want to restrict even more and thats why I have been this week.But when Im around them I do eat my plate just isn't full like everyone elses.I usually will allow myself something sweet so it is like a treat for me ..it is potluck so I will ahve to take a warm dish and a dessert.I have no idea what Im going to bring.I have been restricting but I keep telling myself just for this week.I do have some sense of relief that I will getting help with all my issues with my ED and am trying to accept that I need to do this to be free of all of this..yet at the same time I know its going to be VERY difficult.But I have you all here to help thru it also..Its horrible to say but my baby sister won't be there ..I should be wanting to see her but am a bit relieved she won't be there!These are all great tips Jan thanks because this has been on my mind all week ..how Im going to deal with this reunion!Your timeing was perfect!

Thanks Love Grace

Grace

NEDA Conference in October-Brooklyn!! ♥
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Grace...I don't think you are horrible for being relieved that a certain person will not be there. It doesn't mean that your sister is a bad person either, but just that right now, being around her may not be in your best interest. I do understand the urge to restrict more before facing something stressful, AND facing the assessment. I did that too, but I wish at the time that I had been able to see how counter-productive it was. Restricting more reduces your already low metabolism, and losing weight only means that recovery will take longer and may be harder. Just my experience. BUT, I know how strong that ED force is. Please try very hard to fight against those irrational urges and thoughts, and take care of yourself. Thinking of you..Love, Jan

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Jan,

Hahahaha! Okay, you may disregard my freak-out e-mail question about this very thing last night! LOL! It would have helped if I'd seen this post first! :D

Great suggestions, friend! Still not sure how I'm going to handle Sunday. I offered to bring a dish. My aunt always says no. Maybe I'll bring one anyway. ;0)

Love! And THANKS! :)

Jen

NEDA Conference in October-Brooklyn!! ♥
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Jen.so what IS the 5k all about? Is this a good idea?
Yes, when I read your message this morning, I wondered if you had read the above post. I think taking a dish of something that you feel comfortable eating would be a great idea! Yes, the lovely Holidays..so hard to see through the bars of an ED. Wishing you well..Jan

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warm hugs and sunshine to everyone!!!
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Jan,

I wish I would have read this before I posted! I can say " no" when food is pushed in my face and if they persist, then I can walk away or just leave. My mom and I are already plannig what to have this Thanksgiving and it feels nice to have a choice in what I am going to be eating.I am going to make it a point to eat what I want on Thanksgiving and try my hardest to not feel guilty afterwards. Thanks.

"Dance like no one is watching."

NEDA Conference in October-Brooklyn!! ♥
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Yes! You have a voice, don't be afraid to use it! It's much better to speak about your wants/needs than to try to express them by starving yourself...wishing you the best..Jan

n/a
so if i stand, let me stand on the promise that You will pull me through...and if i can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You...
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We are traveling now for our Thanksgiving holiday with my in laws and extended family.... This was helpful as I am FREAKING out!!!!!

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HATES body fluctuations!!!
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LA

I feel for you if I think of putting myself in your position .Id have to say I would be freaking too.You strike me as a strong person wether you admit it or not.I think you can make it thru Ok WE are here for you.But like Jan has stated before and I found this with my reunion saturday night I was worried someone would say something to me about what I had on my plate ..but everyone was hungry and were more into what was on their own plate.Thinking Of you try to enjoy your time away!

Grace

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